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Author Topic: APPLYING FOR...A PROOFREADER POSITION!!!(Have proofread before)  (Read 173 times)

Offline blueflowerimage

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APPLYING FOR...A PROOFREADER POSITION!!!(Have proofread before)
« on: September 02, 2010, 04:03:12 AM »
Hey, I'm here to be a proofreader! :=B I'm American born, so this makes proofreading a whole lot easier for me! I have always had good grades, especially in English, and my vocabulary and grammar is always growing (you learn a new thing every day.) I have a lot of free time, and it would usually take me about 45 minutes to an hour to fully proofread and double-check a 32 page chapter. I use mediafire to upload my documents, and I use Paint to point out missing bubbles and SFX's. Thanks for your time, whomever is reading!
Ok, here i go:
(click to show/hide)
Page 1

-(top right) Master. Work is work! This is  because you wouldn’t stop going on about humans!
-(title) Judgment 2 Apple Tree 4
-(top left) Story Youn In-Wan
-Art Yang Kyung-Il
-The first chapter can be read for free on Club Sunday [clubsunday.jp]!
-Release of the huge hit!! Shin Angyo Onshi All 17 Volumes!!

Page 2

-There is a hope you don't give up until the end for! The next move is...!?
-Master! When Nami was being taken away...she said something about a florist.
-A florist? Where Bichula?
-She didn’t  tell me!
-Excuse me, I'm in a hurry...
-There's a florist that's right next door... / to the station where Nami died!
-Haa / Haa
-Nice one Bichula!
-Master did a good job too!

Page 3

-Welcome, how fortunate to have you with us today .<3
-And what would you be searching for at Enzel Flower? Angel-sama~<3
-Shut your face!
-I'm a devil!
-Stop it Bichula!
-But she called me an angel even though I'm a devil!
-It pissed me off.
-Geez...stop causing me trouble. / We have no time, we need to find the Innocence Item before Nami is dropped into hell!
-Devil Search Spray!!
-Come on! Anything's fine! Please just react to anything involving Nami!

Page 4

-(top right) The Story So Far, In order to return to the demon world, the banished devil Kucabara is acting as a lawyer for a sinner. This time, the Unknown Soul Nami has been judged by Kucabara to not have committed suicide. She linked with him in contract!
-You know, when dogs are being kept by humans, / What do you think happens when feeding time comes around?
-The strong dogs form a group, / The weak dogs line up behind them to eat.
-If dogs are forced to do that to fill their bellies,
-Then how would it work for you humans...
-If you gathered the trash / who was turned away from seeking pleasure?

Page 5

-Welcome to my place of torment (TN- The words used were literally 'hell' but considering what comes next it doesn't work so well when translated as hell in English, so I went with this instead)
-Eating Hell.

Page 6

-I am a gentleman. I don't personally inflict pain upon sinners. / In my hell pain is not given, because it is produced...
-The horrific death caused by...
-Hunger!
-The weak are eaten, the strong eat. / But no matter how many times a soul dies it will soon be revived.
-Struggle miserably, be eaten cruelly...that is continually repeated!
-For the next four thousand years!
-Pl...please save me!! / I'm begging you, please save me!!
-I...I didn't commit suicide.
-It's true...please believe me!!

Page 7

-Kyaaaa!!
-Why,
-Why is there no reaction?

Page 8

-Its strange...if this is the place that Nami visited then there should be some sort of reaction. / Bichula, are you sure it was this shop?
-Let’s try searching a bit more.
-We couldn't find anything at the station right? Nor here...
-Master, it's already time.
-Right now Nami is...
-You’ve been with me for so long but you still don't understand me.
-You think I'm I nasty dude who just gives up? / You still don't understand anything!?

Page 9

-Uuh...
-Uuuh...
-Kuhihi...
-Dyuhihi!
-Not at all like someone who committed suicide, / You’re showing such a passion to live.
-Well, as a reward for that / I'll tell you something interesting.
-Did you think that what happened at the station
-Was just your foot slipping?

Page 10

-Like I said. / There aren't any traces left at the station.
-Dammit... / There must be some thing...
-Do you know the special strength of a Shinigami?
-It is an ability to manipulate reality...a little bit.
-That day when you started to lose your footing near the tracks, / You weren’t going to lose your footing and fall.
-Do you still not understand? / I'm saying that you were not necessarily going to come to hell.

Page 11

-So by my deception...
-I caused a huge accident.
-If a Shinigami doesn't work their business in the human world,
-Then they can’t live either.
-Could you move a bit?
-That's the place where someone who helped me died.
-Old man, could that be Nami...
-So the young lady who died here was called Nami?
-When I was on the verge of freezing to death,
-She gave this coat to me. That young lady was just like an angel...

Page 13

-Noo!! Kyaaa!!
-Guhihi!
-Hurry down here!!
-You never learn do you!
-Looks like you need a little extra nudging!
-There was a snow storm that day...

Page 14

-Everyone was just searching for romance on the snow...
-Nobody turned an eye towards a homeless guy like me.
-I'm going to be getting on a train soon.
-I felt that she looked sad but,
-Her face was still filled with hope...

Page 15

-She said something to me.
-"Keep on trying, mister".
-"Tomorrow, even if the world is destroyed, I'll plant"
-"An apple tree today" or something like that...
-Now I see, that's how it was.

Page 16-17

Page 18

-The convoluted puzzle has
-Been completed solved.
-I will now make the closing statement                                                                                                                     
-On Nami's behalf!
-Everything has been made clear with the coat in his hand. Next time, conclusion!
-Continued in issue 25

Mmkay...I will take all criticism, good or harsh!  :confident
Thanks again! (>_<)
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Offline lLuffyl

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Re: APPLYING FOR...A PROOFREADER POSITION!!!(Have proofread before)
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2010, 08:29:38 PM »
Some mistakes I found:


-(title) Judgment 2: Apple Tree 4
-(top left) Story: Youn In-Wan
-Art: Yang Kyung-Il
Nothing major here, just colons needed.

-There is a hope you don't give up until the end for! The next move is...!?
-There is hope that you don't give up until the end!  (For)The next move is...!?
That is one way that line could read.  I put the "For" in there because it can work out either way.

-Welcome, how fortunate to have you with us today .<3
-Welcome, how fortunate "we are" to have you with us today .<3
We are needs to be there to show who is fortunate. 

-(top right) The Story So Far:
Nothing major.  A colon is what is needed in this situation.

-You think I'm I nasty dude who just gives up?
-You think I'm a nasty dude who just gives up?
Instead of "I" it should be "a".

-Dammit... / There must be something...
Again nothing major.  "Something" should be one word.

-You never learn do you!?
A question mark needs to be used here since it is a question.

In all, there are a few too many mistakes and I cannot accept you at the time. 
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